Someone searching for “cynical quotes” or “cynical quotations” is probably looking for funny cynical sayings. But we try to provide a little educational value with our humor, so here’s some information about cynicism in order to help you better understand these funny cynical quotes. Cynicism The original cynics were Greek philosophers in the 4th century BC. They believed in rejecting conventions and embracing simplicity and virtue. (Their philosophy has something in common with that of the Quakers, who believe in simple talk and simple dress.) Modern cynicism has nothing to do with the original Greek philosophical tradition though; modern cynics distrust other people. People who are described as cynics are also often described as jaded. Famous Cynics This article is written about modern cynics and their quotations, because that’s what we think people who arrive here will be looking for. Some famous cynics include the following: George Carlin Woody Allen Kurt Vonnegut Edward Abbey Walter Matthau Groucho Marx W.C. Fields Some Selected Cynical Quotes, Cynical Quotations, and Cynical Sayings And here are some actual cynical quotes: “I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.” – Groucho Marx “One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us.” – Kurt Vonnegut “By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.” – George Carlin “His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.” – Woody Allen “I don’t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.” – Groucho Marx “My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn’t pay the bill he gave me six months more. ” – Walter Matthau “Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.” – George Carlin “Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.” – Woody Allen ” I`d love to work with Barbra Streisand again. In something appropriate. Perhaps, Macbeth.” – Walter Matthau “Just because some of us can read and write and do a little math, that doesn’t mean we deserve to conquer the Universe.” – Kurt Vonnegut “Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.” – Woody Allen “Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?” – George Carlin “If you can do a half-assed job of anything, you’re a one-eyed man in a kingdom of the blind.” – Kurt Vonnegut “Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.” – W.C. Fields “I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don’t have as many people who believe it.” – George Carlin “There is a tragic flaw in our precious Constitution, and I don’t know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.” – Kurt Vonnegut “I am free of all prejudices. I hate every […]
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